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Feb. 22nd, 2010 @ 08:11 pm Relationships
Current Mood: amusedamused
from my friend Marvin,

"Have you ever been in a relationship that just sucked ass? I call that a relationshit!"
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pansy
snuffleupagoth:
Jan. 17th, 2010 @ 08:46 am Smells Good Enough To Eat
I was chatting with Shawn this morning, and he excused himself to the chow hall for some dinner. He was away longer than I was expecting, but he explained right away:

Shawn: hey
Shawn: sory that took so long
Shawn: i was a little distracted during my meal
Me: ?
Shawn: kelli pickler smells very reminiscent of sex
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happy
sexy_bex_e:
Oct. 17th, 2009 @ 05:39 pm Good Enough
I'm not ashamed to admit that despite the fact I have a vagina, I know next to nothing about applying makeup. I'll get on YouTube to search for tutorials when I want to put some on. So I'm watching a girl from the U.K., panacea81, show me how to do a cat's eye in green and teal. She said she has a lot of inquiries about how she removes her make-up. She held up a package of Pamper's Baby Wipes.

"If it's good enough for a baby's ass, it's good enough for me face."

Truer words have never been spoken.
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happy
sexy_bex_e:
Sep. 25th, 2009 @ 08:52 am Dude Looks Like A Lady
I know most of my quotes are from my children, but geez, kids spare no mercy.

We were at Party City yesterday, waiting in line for the bathroom. Once the woman came out and we went in, Callista asked, "Was that a man?"

"No, that was a lady," I answered.

"But she left the seat up!"

"So she did."

"She just peed like a man, but she turned into a lady."
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happy
sexy_bex_e:
Sep. 16th, 2009 @ 10:26 pm Parents TMI
If I had to hear it, so do you.

After they got back from their hotel stay, I asked my parents if they had a nice time. Mom gave me a simple yes, but Bob popped a piece of the complimentary chocolate in his mouth, winked at Mom, and said, "I haven't been eating nearly enough Candie lately."
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happy
sexy_bex_e:
Sep. 16th, 2009 @ 08:24 pm (no subject)
Quote of the Night goes to Zack Snyder and Frank Miller while Brandi and I were watching the extras on 300

Zack: 300 was just Frank's idea and that's the kind of idea that you want to make in films, and you shoot it, and you say that it's going to be aesthetic and everything but then the studio says, 'Mmm, Yeah, no... what it needs is 300 doggies, fluffy puppies and they're all going to go on and adventure together.'
Frank: The 300 Corgis... What I wanna know is how the hell are you gonna turn Watchmen into a movie?
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weezel365:
Aug. 14th, 2009 @ 04:34 pm (no subject)
So I bought a copy of Venture Brothers Season 3 today. Then I saw Dr. Girlfriend in her outfit as Dr. Mrs. The Monarch. I grabbed Brandi, pointed and said, I want you in that.
"I can't fit in the TV," she said.
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weezel365:
Aug. 6th, 2009 @ 11:16 am Still Sounds Like...
I wrote myself a note about it because I knew I'd forget, then I left the note in the car. Shawn brought it in last night, so it's a little late.

Saturday evening, we were driving to Olive Garden for dinner when I noticed a tear in my skirt. "FUCK!"

In the back seat, Callista said, "Fucks?"

I clapped a hand over my mouth, but the damage was done. ...Or was it?

"Where's a fox? I don't see a fox."
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happy
sexy_bex_e:
Jun. 19th, 2009 @ 08:17 pm Jalapenos
Ian broke our camera this evening. It put Shawn in a foul mood, and that, in turn, made me more than a little miffed. Words were exchanged. Shawn went to the kitchen to cook dinner, and in traditional Bex form, I started cleaning. My bedroom looks great, the living room is cleared of toys, I was working on the family room when Shawn stepped out of the kitchen.

"Can I say something?"
I stopped cleaning and looked up at him from the floor. He waited until I spoke, "What's up?"
"Never-" Oh boy "Ever-" Here comes the shitstorm. "EVER-" Wait for it... "Chop up a jalapeno and then dig in your ass."

/Fight.
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happy
sexy_bex_e:
Jun. 13th, 2009 @ 04:23 pm (no subject)
Brandi; to our friend Jerre, who has problems with his feet: "If your feet fall off, don't come running to me."
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Oscar
weezel365: