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May. 19th, 2011 @ 12:29 pm Who Am I To Judge?
While discussing the dashing good looks of a friend's co-worker...

Laura: Is it wrong to want to fuck the brains out of a married man...?
Me: umm... NO. I've fucked a lot of married men. And their wives.
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boykiss
sexy_bex_e:
Mar. 14th, 2011 @ 12:55 pm Yes, She Did
I want to remember this always, so I'm posting it both in my LJ and cross-posting to QotN...

Callista is playing in create mode on Little Big Planet. She used cardbord to make a cube, and then she started decorating. Next thing I knew, she caused me to shoot coffee out of my nose by shouting out, "Mommy, come see my hairy box!!"
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chameleon
sexy_bex_e:
Dec. 17th, 2010 @ 01:37 am (no subject)
evilrubberducks: There comes a point in a relationship where a marriage is just a ceremony, the couple acts like they're married all the time anyways...
Me: Like Jack and Tyler Durden.
Her: Yeah... what?
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weezel365:
Oct. 5th, 2010 @ 04:16 pm (no subject)
Me: Seriously, if I don't burp, fart, or blow my nose at the table during a first date? There's a pretty good chance I don't care about you.
Tim: It's just showing her your sensitive side... kinda like looking at a Jackson Pollack; "It may be messy, baby, but it's ART!"
Me: HAHAHAHAAA!!! QOTN!!!
Tim: Okay, seriously, get out of my car, I gotta go take a shit.
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IT'S A FACT
weezel365:
Sep. 26th, 2010 @ 03:54 am (no subject)
Two QOTNs for the price of one!

First, my brother Jacob's Facebook post about his trip to Panama City this weekend: This is the best fucking time! The water is clear, my friends are the best, and the bed is super comfortable. Oh yeah, the first thing I did when we got here was go into one of the change rooms, find a bikini that someone left behind, put it on, and show of my balls to everyone. GOOD TIMES

As a corollary, Lauren said: I'd rather eat SHIT than watch that Facebook movie...
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roflMAO
weezel365:
Aug. 31st, 2010 @ 11:21 am Pass the Ham Sandwich
Emma and I had been discussing the internet meme that stemmed from Kanye West being a douche to Taylor Swift. A few minutes later, she caused me to laugh while taking a sip of my hot tea. I choked on it, tea and slobber spewing from my mouth and nose, still laughing as I coughed. She patted me on my back and said, "I know you just choked on your tea, and I'mma let you finish, but Mama Cass had the best choke of all time!!"
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happy
sexy_bex_e:
Aug. 26th, 2010 @ 08:20 am Old People Are Funny
My grandparents just celebrated their 62nd wedding anniversary. For my part, I want to acknowledge something my grandfather said many years ago. This one's for you, Grand-Dad:

He was grumbling to himself about getting old when my brother, Jim, handed him that old cliché line of, "You're only as old as you feel."

"No," Grand-Dad replied. "You're only as old as the woman you feel." He glanced over at Grammy and shook his head. "I'm fuckin' old."
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boykiss
sexy_bex_e:
Jun. 14th, 2010 @ 12:41 pm (no subject)
6/13/10
X-POSTED


. . . So, if you've got me on your Friend's List and you also have my communities on your list, or maybe your kiss (your kiss) is on my list, then you're probably seeing this multiple times. After you've seen it once, just skip it. It all says the same thing, but I'm putting it in all three journals because LiveJournal is SRS BZNSCollapse )
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weezel365:
May. 31st, 2010 @ 11:59 pm Demotivational
Current Mood: amusedamused
Copper says (11:56 PM):
"you have successfully eliminated any chance of me getting a boner tonight."

Caused by thishttp://verydemotivational.com/2010/05/31/demotivational-posters-stripper-clowns/
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pansy
snuffleupagoth:
Mar. 25th, 2010 @ 08:22 am Lethal Gas
Ian and I were sitting at the breakfast table when we heard sirens out on Hwy 98. We made little O's with our mouths as we looked at each other. I said, "Ooh, what did you do?" In a very low, ominous whisper, he replied...

"Pass gas."
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happy
sexy_bex_e: